All the May Flowers Have Gone Away
”What potent blood hath modest May.”
- Ralph W. Emerson
It’s May again.
My perfect year would skip from April to June.
May hasn’t been kind to me in the last twelve years.
I know that just having the idea that a particular month brings tidings of doom greatly increases the chance of it happening. I do believe in the power of positive thinking, but May has proven me wrong year after year.
Good things have happened in May. Surely they have, right? Just in my own family, two “successful” marriages began in May, and my father will celebrate his 63rd year this month. Those are all things to look forward to in May.
If only I didn’t remember the times May let me down. The times May made me want it to be the last month I ever lived.
This year I dread May more than I ever have. It has not been a good year. My least favorite month on top of a very bad year might just mean 31 very long days for me.
I know this all sounds very silly, and I hope that on June 1st, I can come back and read this blog post and laugh. Heck, this blog post is so melodramatic, I might just laugh now, if I weren’t so paranoid of the next 30 days.
If anyone still reads this blog, it’s okay to laugh about a grown woman being scared of one little month. Though, I’m not really sure that anyone does actually reach this blog looking for me anymore. Aside from an occasional weird search, very few even stumble here any longer. If by chance, you find yourself reading this, and you just happen to be one of the few people who have seen me through Mays of the past, say hi sometimes. I miss you.
One day down, 30 more to go, and I remain desperately waiting for June.
For love that smiled in April
Is false to me in May.”
- Sara Teasdale, May
I’m in Thailand. The bar attached to the guesthouse has one of those slightly egg-shaped hanging chairs I used to have in my Rainforest house. It pleases me. May will be fine. Just you wait and see.
My world traveler! I envy you, and I miss your egg-shaped hanging chair!
I sat in it yesterday. It’s not as much fun if you don’t fall down a stairwell when you climb out of it though! Start teaching here next week. It’s almost like having a proper job. Which is odd.
Hey!
How’s May so far? Mine has been dismal, but that’s only because grading at the end of the semester was grim, but that’s done now. Things are looking up halfway through here.
One day May won’t be so bad.